Scar Clarifies: Hyena Violence May Be A Thing, But He's Not One To Judge
PRIDE ROCK, PRIDE LAND—After several weeks of media scrutiny, Scar has finally issued a statement on the recent hyena violence, clarifying that while he understands hyenas could pose a risk to Pride Rock, each hyena should be individually judged on his or her own merits.
“I mean you had some very bad hyenas in that group, but you also had hyenas that were very fine people on both side” he said, at a press conference held by that one palm tree. “I don’t know much about hyenas. Almost nothing.”
This comes on the heels of intense outcry after his performance in public debates with Mufasa. His infamous words “sit by, claws ready” have swept across social media on Facerock and Tweeter, as some citizens of Pride Land felt they were stoking the already inflamed species tension.
“I cannot believe that one of the candidates is really trying to incite hyena violence” said AntelopeMILF. One mongoose tweeted out “bro what the fuck.”
This is part of a troubling trend in Scar’s rhetoric that some fear may give rise to more hyena violence in the savannah. Even the moderator, Zazu, when asked to clarify his thoughts on the debate, expressed shock on Scar's favorite television program, Hawks & Friends.
“I mean that’s just a ridiculously easy thing to say. All he literally had to do was say they were bad. I’m very disappointed.”
To know surprise, Scar quickly replied to Zazu's statement in a "tweet," which is when you blackmail a bird to deliver a message to Pride Rock.
“Boring Zazu is a know nothing. You can’t trust him—and I never have because trust is not a thing I do but if I did, it would not be him. WE WILL WIN!”
In the past few years the savannah has seen an increase in hyena violence. Many are finding each other online through social media, and banding together to form clans. Often they post intense species based attacks, and were responsible for several murderers, aggressive attacks, and plans to poison the watering hole.
Some fear that Scar not only approves of Hyena violence, but that he considers them an active part of his base. By not condemning them on air, some prominent news anchors (such as Sanderson Cooper, Rachel Madcow and Wolf Blitzer) have speculated that this is part of his grand scheme to inflame racial tensions.
“He’s basically chaotic evil personified,” said one reporter who asked to be unnamed due to fear of potential consequences, like being sent to Skull Valley.
