Cop Struggling To Find Alternative Ways To Describe His Job On Dating Apps

QUEENS, NY—Mike Park is 37 years old, has his own place, a steady government job, and just bought a brand-new truck. Despite all this, he is having a difficult time finding dates.

The reason, he believes, is because of his job. Mike is a cop.

“I’m on all the apps, and have no problems getting matches,” Park tells us. “It’s just when they ask what I do for work that it gets tricky.”

According to Park, shortly after he tells new matches his job, they block him.

“If I’m lucky, they just block me or ghost me. But most of the time they call me a ‘bastard’ or worse, and then block me,” Park says.

This problem has forced him to be creative with the ways he describes his career choice. So far, he’s tried: government employee, community safety officer, first responder, and more. But the deceptions only work for so long, according to Park.

“After we start talking for a while, they usually seem to realize what I do. Which sucks cause now I have to pretend to be someone that I’m not. I can’t even mention I listen to Joe Rogan.”

This problem isn’t unique to just Park, his fellow officers, Republicans, and even Park's landlord has to lie about who they are.

Park isn’t worried though, he is a resilient man. He had to be to get through his three weeks of police training.

But he admits, he can’t help but be a little upset. The officer tells us, “It just sucks that I have a thing for androgynous girls with septum piercings and those are the type that hate cops the most.”

His plan, for now, is to go back to picking up girls at the bar, just like he did with his first wife.

Park says things were easier back then. “It wasn’t this bad twelve years ago when I met my first wife. Or even ten years ago, with the second. We’ve got a lot of bad press ever since people started recording us with their phones.”