Misguided King Charles III Pays First State Visit To Crown Fried Chicken

In a landmark visit from Britain’s newly elected monarch, a confused and horrified-looking King Charles III was seen entering the Crown Fried Chicken located on 167 Marcus Garvey Boulevard and hesitantly asking whether they had any organic lemon curd. The new head of state, who apparently had been under the impression that the chain of chicken restaurants had been created in honor of him, seemed to be completely baffled by the location’s menu, as well as the full-on fight that was happening five feet away from him.

As bodyguards tried to move him back out of the door to the establishment, the King was overheard asking, “But then who am I to give the Crown Jewels to for safekeeping?”, yet refusing to trust the Crown Fried Chicken manager, Melvin.

Royal journalists have suggested that the confusion may have stemmed from the fact that members of the Royal Family have not stepped inside a commoner-led business in over 80 years, and so assumed that anything with ‘Crown’ in the name must be owned by them. This went some way to explaining Charles III’s behavior, as he threw his ermine-laced Coat of the Duchy of Bedminster on the ground expecting a footman to catch it, only to see it land in an unidentifiable puddle that one hoped was water.

At time of reporting, King Charles III was said to be enjoying his three-piece meal, fries, gravy on the side, licking his lips and saying, “Ah, jolly good. Tickety-boo indeed.”