Evangelical Can't Believe Everyone Buying Into Virus No One Can See Or Hear
SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Devout Christian and homemaker Jeanette Bennett was shocked that her church has shut down in-person services due to a virus that has never even been seen much less heard from.
“Why it’s just shocking—have you ever seen this so-called virus? Has corona ever said anything? No? Than how can we be sure it exists” she asks, stroking her King James Bible. “Look I’m not a sucker, ok? Is there anything wrong with having some evidence before you go hog in?”
She added that if her church truly cared about their congregation they would allow for full services again and without masks or social distancing measures. “How do we know that works huh? There’s no proof in the virus much less virus-preventing bunk thank you very much.”
Bennett’s church, First Faith Congregational, is one of the many churches in Arizona that have stopped services and complied with state-mandated social distancing. It’s pastor shut down all in-person activities at the first outbreak which claimed 16 out of 18 choir singers.
When asked about the pastor’s controversial move, Bennett felt like he had abandoned his flock. “I mean, you can’t just stop church just because a couple of people passed on to the Good Lord. What about the rest of us? Who is looking out for us, huh?”
And although her mother was one of the first COVID-19 fatalities in the state, she still isn’t sure it’s real.
“I mean, she was 65. Look, it was her time to go, okay? That doesn’t say a darn thing about no virus. Technically, her death certificate said she died of pneumonia which is just God’s way of saying goodbye.”
When asked what proof would sway her, Bennett laughs. “Honey, I’ll know it when I see it!” She adds that it would have to pass scrupulous tests because she’s a fan of evidence-based methodology though she hates those terms.
“Scientists have so many fancy terms. It’s just common sense applied to make sure stuff works, you know?”
She has written a letter to the church deacons and is delivering them by hand, in-person to make sure they get the point.
“Gotta make sure they realize what’s real and what isn’t!” She says, before going outside without a mask in sight.
