Quiz: Is He Racist Or Just Really Into Vineyard Vines?
So, you’re seeing a new dude and he’s like... always wearing pastel polos with little whales on them. What gives? Is he racist, or just really into boating whilst wearing pastels? Take our quiz and find out!
1.) What was his last post on social media?
A picture of him on a boat with his boys! Not a woman to be found… anywhere! Actually, no women exist on his grid at all, except for maybe his mom.
A black square preceded by a picture of his white, unmasked friends with the caption “brofest 2020”.
Nothing since 2018.
2.) What are his thoughts on boat shoes?
Stylish, comfortable, can be dressed up or down for day/night!
You mean, Sperrys?
He doesn’t own shoes.
4.) What are his thoughts on collars?
He prefers a finely pressed collar that is slightly popped in the back. Polo color preference includes pastels, beige (for lunch with mom!), or pink. Navy is gauche, honey.
Pop, lock n’ drop it.
He doesn’t own shirts.
5.) Was he in a frat?
Fraternities are great places to meet fellow brothers, form a brotherhood, and shower together—I mean, play sports! He loves sports. Won’t let you or his dad forget it.
Yeah, for “networking” (read: chicks, beer, and more chicks hehe). Finance! (He just shouts that word into the void sometimes.)
Is he breathing?
6.) Is he white?
Yes! Like fresh snow.
He has one black friend that he invites to parties but has never like, hung out with one on one. They were neighbors? Also, he listens to Post Malone unironically.
He’s… cold.
Mostly A’s: Yay! Your guy is definitely a bit racist but mostly just into pastel colors, cute little whales, and deciding where he falls on the spectrum of straight to gay. Bonus points if he has never tried to touch you sexually.
Mostly B’s: Super racist. Please, also, never be alone in a room with him!
Mostly C’s: Your man is dead! Congrats! Did you kill him? Another one down. :)
