Op-Ed: Hot Vax Gurl Summer Is Over, Here Comes Sexy PTSD Fall

This summer’s vaccines brought many hookups and social distant beaches parties but with the Fall has come Delta and rising case numbers.

Autumn is predicted to be full of Zoom therapy, weird flashbacks to March 2020, and very awkward first-date conversations about how your pandemic is going. 

Local therapist Marsha Manheim said, “I am currently available for Zoom therapy and now charging up to $300 for a half-hour because I’m very in demand.” 

Then we told her she was supposed to comment on Sexy PTSD fall and not her rates, so she said, “The Fall is a great time for sexy full body flashbacks of the pandemic. If you find these flashbacks less of a sexy fall vibe and more of an alarming vibe please call me for my rates and I also think medication, meditation, eating healthy, texting your sane ex-boyfriend—not the disturbed one—can all be helpful coping mechanisms.”

Now, maybe some won’t consider pairing a Pumpkin Spice Latte with a crippling flashback to be sexy. Others disagree. Local influencer Cassandra said, “I bought a cozy sweater, an orange scarf, and some very chic-looking soup and I hope they can all help me process my PTSD in a sexy fall kinda way.”