David Foster Wallace Reborn? This Woman’s Text Message Is 700 Words
DES MOINES, IA—A literary rising star was discovered just yesterday: her name is Katie Rose Timpleton and she just sent a text to her friend with a whopping 700-word count!
“Yeah, Katie was, like, mad at me cause I would text her a lot to hang cause I get bored a lot," said her friend, Claire Benson. "And then out of nowhere she texted me a manuscript about how I was ‘too needy’ and we needed to set ‘appropriate boundaries’ and her ‘grandfather' was recently in the hospital cause his knees 'suck.' Normally, I’d just be upset, but I was just impressed by her literary prowess.”
Local book agent, Sarah Stevens, came to work one day to see a printout of the text message waiting for her on her desk—word had gotten out in the literary community. After spending three weeks reading it, she admitted she was impressed.
“I am always hunting for that next David Foster Wallace, someone who can write books that are way too long for no reason, and that people have on their dorm room bookshelves to try to look cooler than their peers," said Stevens. "I’m very excited about this up-and-coming writer Katie Rose and the fact that she used 'texting' to express herself so verbosely. I already emailed her a contract.”
When Rose got word she had a book deal she said, “I’m not a writer, but being scouted still means so much. Claire is literally the most annoying friend I’ve ever had and sends me annoying messages on the hour asking me what her ex-boyfriend's Facebook status is and I think all that frustration inspired the creative muse and you know what, screw it, I am a writer!”
Next month, Katie will be teaching classes at Barnard on how women can invoke the Stephen King within themselves. Her new book, Texts I Sent To Claire—Who Is Honestly So Annoying—Like Seriously, I Never Say That About My Friends But I Just Have To Say Something, will appear on shelves this fall.
