New Yorkers Divided After Cuomo Agrees to Cancel Rent the Musical
New Yorkers were in a state of confusion on Friday after waking up to the announcement that, in response to mass unemployment and a growing number of evictions, Governor Andrew Cuomo would be canceling RENT.
“New Yorkers have been demanding action on RENT for weeks," said Cuomo in a press briefing. That is why, effective immediately, I am finally canceling RENT.”
When questioned if he had maybe misread his notes, the governor doubled down.
“I know that New Yorkers are struggling right now. I also know that I hate musicals, especially bohemian bullshit like RENT," said Cuomo. "Moving the show off-Broadway is the right thing to do. Like off-off-Broadway, not just off-Broadway. Like into the East River. You know what I mean. My nipples hurt.”
Those who gathered to hear the announcement were visibly confused and conflicted by the news.
“It’s not at all what we asked for, but I guess it’s also not not what we asked for," said Carolyn Sanchez, a mother of three who is currently living in a discarded Amazon box near Rockefeller Plaza. "We probably should have been more specific. Still, it's not the worst news."
Sanchez was clear that although she and the other 96,000 signees of the Cancel Rent petition were disappointed by the news, they were also pretty grateful.
"It’s the wrong 'rent,' but on the other hand: it’s also completely unacceptable at this time to be subjected to RENT. We’re just happy to know that the governor was listening. Sort of.”
The governor had been facing backlash recently as landlords refused to offer rent relief despite massive COVID-19 related unemployment.
“I signed the petition because I desperately needed the other kind of rent relief,” said Peter Finley, a furloughed pasta chef. “That musical’s a total bummer though, so I get it. He made the right call.”
Several Broadway stars took to Twitter to criticize the governor’s decision, including composer Lin Manuel Miranda.
“Now, more than ever, New Yorkers need the comfort that only paying hundreds of dollars to watch a show about being poor can provide," rapped Miranda even though we specifically asked him to just say it regular.
In a statement released by his office later that day, Cuomo clarified that while he would be canceling RENT, he would also be extending the current run of Les Miserables indefinitely.
