I Lived It: My Zodiac Isn’t Hot

There’s a term I’d like to introduce and something I think should be thrown around more: Star Sign Privilege. Have you ever had a guy walk out of a dinner date in disgust when he’s heard your astrological sign? 

Well, I have. Welcome to my life as a Gemini, a kinda "meh" sign. According to astrologists, Geminis are known for being flighty, judgmental, two-faced, and “not that hot” in terms of Zodiac signs. 

My friends who are Aries and Pisces legit get like asked out 20 times a night on Tinder just cause they mention their star signs on their profile while I have to hide mine like the plague. I usually try to hold them off for more intimate 7th date topics like my arson habit. But the weird thing is the guy usually doesn’t care about the arson problem and it’s the star sign that becomes the big red flag.

Astrologyishot.com said that Gems are cold and distant in bed because they are born without a sexy gene while Pisces, like my friend Laura, will make her partner experience “heaven in bed and has porn star potential.” When I told Laura this, she was like, "huh? Can I call you back? I'm currently having sex with two beautiful people right as we speak! I should've have answered the phone."

One time my ex, Tevin, turned to me and said, “Can we roleplay that you’re a Virgo?” He was so bored with me in bed and solely because of my star sign and not any other reason. Gems are no match for those passionate and mysterious Scorpio ways. He cheated on me with my friend Laura and the sad part is I’m not that mad about it because they're kind of hot together tbh. My unsexy star sign held us back as a couple and I know Laura can satisfy him because Pisces can spice up any relationship.

Now everyone has their challenges to deal with in life and I’ve accepted this is mine to bear. I’ve learned to hold this burden of a not that hot star sign, although sometimes I do have dark days when I call my mother and scream: “Why didn’t you have me in March, you bitch? You ruined my life.” I apologize for the outburst and she quickly responds, "It's okay. You're a Gemini and so you do bullshit like that. I forgive you."