Horror Movie Villains Unsure If Killing Black Character The Right Move Given The 'State Of Things'

THE OMNIVERSE—A collective of more than 300 villains that span the untold realms of what’s perceived as reality and fiction, have come together to state that they’re unsure if killing black characters in future horror films is the best way forward, “given the state of things.”

A collection of the villains made a press conference at the base of Mount Doom, which is about 40 miles outside of Cincinnati.

“Even though I haven't touched a hair on the head of the sole black character in my film, I’m still aware that’s not the case for other black characters in other films”, stated spokesperson and notorious cannibal-criminal mastermind Hannibal Lecter. "I personally believe that black people probably taste as delicious—if not more—than any white meat, especially if paired with a crisp merlot."

It was noted that psycho-killers Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees stayed silent during the conference, but raised blood-drenched fists above their heads. A Xenomorph was seen either kneeling or ready to pounce into the reporter’s pool. Ghostface from Scream fame was caught lurking behind a rock speaking into a phone via a voice modulator, doing a "Wakanda Forever" cross with two dismembered arms. 

“We refuse to add to the frustration and anxieties to the lives of black people, especially the character who's like ‘Man, I am not going in there' only to be pushed to do so anyway," explained a surprisingly eloquent Leatherface, as he carved up a 70s-era woman hanging from a meat hook. "As villains, we strive to see pain and suffering, but the pain and suffering must come from a place of real equity for all victims—whether that be for disturbing a tomb or messing with a Ouija board one too many times."

Not all villains shared the same feelings. As a small counter-protest had been created in a hellish-like dimension created by Pinhead.

"I get it. I did a movie in the hood so I know these people well, you see, teeheehee," stated Leprechaun of Leprechaun 5: In The Hood. "Also, the Irish were slaves, and we got over that lickety split! Yep, no lingering trauma or bitterness from us, no sir." 

"I'm just a fucking racist, bitch," Freddy Krueger succinctly added.