Op-Ed: Help, My Girl Thinks I'm All Cap! Is That Good Or Bad?
Hey y’all this is Dr. Tadesse, the love therapist! I’m gonna give a little advice to change things up! Whatever your questions are, I’ll try my best to give you some straight talk. The first question comes from Danny in Renton, WA:
Hey! So, I’m looking for some relationship advice. We met volunteering to sort used clothes. There, I bought her a gray bandana that she loves! Dating for a month, and it’s great. Issue seems that they use language I’m too old for(m 27/h22). How can I express I’m ‘no cap’ in our communications with each other?
Thanks,
Danny.
Thanks for writing in Danny, it shows you care and you wanna develop your commitment to this woman! And congrats on finding someone, I personally know how hard that can be, and also shout out to another Renton resident (yay, us). Here’s some helpful advice in bettering that communications gap!
A.B.L.: Always Be Listening! It's pretty straightforward, but it’s amazing how many folks overlook this! It seems you're pretty attentive, but make sure you’re not thinking about what to say next—this is not a chess game, King's Gambit! Move with the conversation. It’s a dance and you have to have patience for y’all to prosper.
Don’t Interrupt. I’ve had ups and downs in my current relationship—yes, even me! We’re working on things, but that’s love. I try and remember, we’ve been having some issues for the past couple of weeks, but we still got each other. It’s just—I don’t know... is it weird to check-in after five hours? Just a text? But, yeah, don’t interrupt!
Explore new hobbies & mutual interests! Speaking your mind with your partner is great, but what about something y’all can do together? I’ve been caught up with this whole GME thing, but my partner is definitely not into it! She’s actually invited me to do something that your current partner is doing, sorting used clothes, but I just haven’t found the time. If you see her, tell her I said hello lol! No, but seriously, find a common interest, or else, you know… Like, have you ever had a full day of happiness and joy, and you know they don’t care? Like, I don’t know. But that’s love, baby! It's hell.
Respect each other’s boundaries! …It’s kinda funny, hold on, this is actually funny lolol, your partner has a grey bandana as well, lolol, that’s really really funny hahaaaa *dead*. But yeah, don’t be a douche, respect boundaries, and listen and all that shit.
When speaking, try and use “I” statements! Yeah. Um, ok. “I” will be right back. “I” noticed my partner's in the shower and “I” know their passcode to get into their phone.
Kill small talk! Did you say a gray bandana? Like gray gray? That’s actually really funny cause I don’t know if I’ve said this yet but they wear a gray bandana. And it’s weird cause, most people spell it “grey”, but in the past, I don’t know, like three weeks ago, they told me it was spelled “gray”.
Respond rather than react. My nigga, you say you’re in Renton? What’s this person’s name you’ve been seeing? I’m checking my phone, I’m looking at her fucked up cracked android and she been texting a nigga named Garage Sale D! That you?!??
NIGGA, ARE YOU FUCKING MY BITCH??? A RENTON NIGGA NAMED BIG D, HUH? YOU BE SHOPPING WITH MY GIRL, FARMERS MARKET AND HOLDING HANDS, NIGGA I’LL FUCK YOU UP! SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GETTING PLASTIC PLATES AND UTENSILS LAST WEEK BUT NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH SHE WAS WHAT?! GETTING DICKED DOWN BY A THRIFT CLOTHING SORTING ASS NIGGA LIKE YOU?
I KNEW IT. SHE BEEN ACTING FUNNY STYLE FOR A MOTHERFUCKING MONTH.
PULL UP. BITCH YOU HEARD ME, PULL UP.
Editors Note: Dr. Tadesse will not be contributing any further Flexx Love & Relationship advice for the foreseeable future. If you need to get in touch with him, you can follow his SubStack under the name “RedPilledAlpha” and his Reddit page “BleakedSkin: Black Incels Unite”.
