CEO Asks If Redheads Count As Minority Hire

NEW YORK CITY—Well, it was bound to happen!

Martin Larkford, CEO of a tech company that makes it easier for wealthy families to ethically clone their dogs, cats, and horses asked quietly in a meeting with his Chief Diversity & Inclusion Officer, Chad Smith, if redheads counted as a minority hire.

“It’s a fair question, isn’t it? I googled it and apparently, less than 2% of the world’s population have red hair so…if we hire some guy named Sean McMurphy or O'Flanaghan or whatever, doesn’t that solve our little 'problem?'"

The question, posed at one of the weekly all hands, was answered in silence. Without a clear path forward, Larkford expedited the resume of a 20-year-old who went to the same frat he went to. Larkford slept easier that night knowing the new hire, while still a white man, wears glasses, so that's something.