Mic Drop! Malcolm Gladwell Is Dropping A Mixtape Called “The History Of Sand, Part I”

Malcolm Gladwell, the celebrated writer and speaker announced he’ll be dropping a mixtape in 2021. 

“I just felt it was time to finally throw my hat in the ring of Hip-Hop, and let folks know, right, that I’m the king. But, what really is a king?” 

The upcoming mixtape project has been dubbed, “The History of Sand: Pt. I” and it's an 18-hour auditory experience covering the entire history of the universe and how it relates to the creation of sand and sand's relationship to humanity since the dawn of man. Also, he disses Drake on one track.

It’s been rumored that features for the mixtape will include artists such as Nas, Da Baby, City Girls, Robert Downey Jr., Terry Gross, and his live-in au pair, Hildegard.

“Music is a fundamental necessity of how we travel our way through the world. It’s a need, not a want, and what I really need from the world is the respect I, you know, fucking flow. Like, real hard. Sand doesn’t play. Ask Anakin, bitch. But, who really was Anakin?”

Producers for the tracks have been named via Twitter as Griselda, Nick Mera, 808Melo, Ted Talks, and Ira Glass. 

Track titles include, “Different Species (DOGS),” “Bazooka Black Joe,” where he allegedly chews for three minutes and 23 secs of Bazooka Joe bubble gum, and a final track dubbed “TOO LOUD”. The concept of that single is him sitting in silence for 45 minutes.

“That whole song I was butt naked, you know. No talking but my dick's still too loud, you know? But, what really is a dick?"

His representatives, standing out of sight behind him, grimaced and threw their palms comically at their foreheads once the statement as delivered.