Cute Doggo! Amazon Introduces New D.A.W.G. Unit For Employee Fulfillment Checks
SEATTLE, WA—Amazon, in conjunction with Boston Dynamics, is set to roll out their new D.A.W.G. unit, which stands for aDorable Autonomous Wellness Greyhound.
A solar-powered, quadrupedal, “Smart Companion” to search and patrol the warehouses for any workers not feeling very Amazon Prime.
“D.A.W.G. is a state-of-the-art robot designed to boost built-in morale and encourage a Prime attitude," said Clay Mitchell, Head of Amazon R&D. "It has built-in 5.1 Dolby Digital listening devices, retractable claws and wheels for ease of movement over any terrain, and a video screen for instant calls with the floor supervisor. This technology is so advanced that it can even learn and memorize employee's movement through the warehouse to anticipate anyone who may need a bit of extra companionship."
When asked about the improvement in morale, forklift operator Almondo Alvarez, 53, said "It’s always watching us and whenever more than three of us get together it rushes over to 'play' until we return to our stations. But... but... but that’s a good thing,” Alvarez quickly continued, sweating. “Whenever I start to feel a little tired, I just remember that the D.A.W.G. is right around the corner and then I’m wide awake and ready to surpass my box quota!"
Concerns have been raised by some employees about the privacy issues of D.A.W.G., who has programmable catchphrases designed to mimic real dogs, such as “Woof woof! Return to your station immediately or face severe punishment. Woof woof!”
“It’s weird how it just sits there," said package sorter Tanya Perthy, 27. "Like it's waiting for something. A month ago, a coworker said the word 'union,' and D.A.W.G. came over to 'fetch' him for some one-on-one time. Nobody’s seen him since.”
In response to concerns, a spokesperson from Amazon's legal department released a statement earlier today saying, "The D.A.W.G. unit is completely safe! The next model will have infrared cameras installed so that they can boost employee morale in complete darkness for our extended shift workers who stay overnight. Everyone loves having a dog in the office. We also included a mandatory pet quota to fill in an effort to make sure every employee in the Amazon family can have their own personal time with D.A.W.G... or else."
Amazon has already launched the program in its Seattle and Austin facilities and is planning an expansion to its other hubs in Q3 of 2021.
"Very soon, there will be a D.A.W.G. at every workspace and we believe they’ll help our employees reach 100% fulfillment."
