Man Rejoins Dating Scene, Picks Random Birth Time And Saves It To Notes App

BROOKLYN, NY—Local bartender Kenneth Gilmore, 28, felt emotionally ready to start a new chapter in his life when he downloaded Bumble. Before he took the plunge, however, he made sure to have his files in order before putting himself out there.

"Before I even think about going live I need to make sure I have my birth time on deck," explained Gilmore as he waited for his mother to pick up the phone. "If you don't have your birth time ready when she inevitably asks for it, you're done, bro. You're cooked. This is Brooklyn: if you even have to ask your mom, it's too late. She's already charting out some other dude."

Gilmore did his due diligence, chatting to his mother for five whole minutes before asking "hey what time was I born again?" to which she responded that she doesn't remember.

"I think like... early in the morning," she said through the insanely loud rustling of her phone. "Or was that your sister? Why, are you sick?"

Gilmore, expecting this outcome, quickly hung up and reverted to plan B: he threw a dart at his wall clock and watched where it landed.

"Alright, 4:22. That's good. That'll work. And finally," he said, flipping a coin. "Heads. Heads is morning. Okay. 4:22 AM. Done."

Gilmore went ahead and wrote 4:22 AM into the notes app on his phone, to maintain consistency among flirt threads.

"I'm not really sure what this will mean for my moon and rising or whatever, but it doesn't really matter. It's just a formality," said Gilmore creating a Bumble account. "If she thinks I'm hot enough, she'll make it work."