Disney Princesses Portray Unrealistic Standards Of Ability To Get Sufficient Sleep

A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY—The Disney princesses have come under criticism for their portrayal of an unrealistic standard of getting a decent night’s sleep.

While they have presented themselves as naturally able to fall gently on an eiderdown pillow and drift off to a deep, fulfilling slumber, their experience is being described by pundits online as “so out of touch as to be laughable.”

Dr. Karen Sylvester, a sleep disorder specialist at John Hopkins University, stated: “These princesses are negatively affecting the expectations of millions of young women, leading them to believe that they will one day wake up feeling completely refreshed. This will never happen.”

Sylvester continued: “While Cinderella, Anna, Jasmine, and the rest would like you to believe that you can shrug off the constant damaging effects of stress, noise pollution, sleep apnea, alcohol, and allergies and emerge from slumber stretching your arms and yawning widely while birds flutter around, this will happen for less than three percent of women worldwide.”

More women than ever are now speaking up about how growing up with this media portrayal of beautiful young royals getting a solid eight hours has given them a distorted expectation of what their sleep patterns would be in adulthood.

“I thought that there was something wrong with me my whole life because I couldn’t measure up to Belle sleeping in a big cozy bed surrounded by books," explained Alejandra Perez of Chicago, IL. "It’s taken years of therapy to realize I’m not the problem,”

Jakima Coleman simply said, “Sleeping Beauty's lying ass.”

As of press time, Snow White could not be reached for comment, as she was slumbering peacefully, surrounded by woodland creatures.