Brown Women Push Bill Into Senate Banning Men From Telling Them They Look Like Mia Khalifa

Brown, Middle Eastern, and Mia-Khalifa-skin-toned women have finally taken legislative powers to be heard. In a move that will transcend free speech, these women are pushing a bill into the United States Senate that will ban men from telling them they look like Mia Khalifa.

They call this the “I Literally Don’t Look Anything Like Her” Bill. Not only are they advocating on their own behalf, but they’re also bringing their sisters along with them. Asian women who’ve been mistaken for Knives Chau and white blondes who get called “Less Hot Margot Robbies” have also been swept into the movement.

For years, brown women have opted for contacts instead of glasses and dyed their hair blonde to avoid the infmaous remark: “Hey, you look kinda like Mia Khalifa! I bet you don't even know who that is hehehe...”

Members of the brown women community are working towards a future where they, along with Mia Khalifa, are respected and can exist in peace with other, less gross microaggressions.

Noor, the head of the movement, came to us with clear intentions. “Mia Khalifa deserves better and the brown women who exist in a post-Mia Khalifa world deserve better as well," she said to a crowd of thousands of brown women in Washington DC this weekend. "We won’t stand in her shadow, a shadow she was manipulated into creating.”

But not everyone was "stoked" about this bill. Many men assert that the proposed law is certainly anything but chill.

"It’s like totally a compliment, you know?" said Topher Jennings, 24, a man who thinks OnlyFans is lame but pays two Brazzers subscriptions. "Whenever I tell a girl she looks like Mia Khalifa, I’m practicing my freedom to say she could be hot as fuck if she got tits. They should actually be thanking Mia for putting us on to brown chicks. I don’t believe in sexualizing or fetishizing anyone unless it's a babe in a hijab getting railed by a black guy."

Noor took the criticism in stride.

“Yeah, we expected some pushback, especially from the frat boys and general cisgendered heterosexual ‘Brads’ of the world, but our following grows every day. Getting to Washington means I’m turning my dreams into reality. What started as a petition to get me twitter clout has turned into an actual movement. I’m hopeful.”