Research Shows Men Less Intimidating When Yelling At Google Assistant

Recent studies compiled by women walking alone in Turtle Bay (where terrible rich boys go to become terrible rich men) found that drunk males seem less threatening while shouting, “Okay, Google! No, I said, Okay, Google. Not Theresa May! Okay! Okay, I said!”

No further evidence as to whether men who shout at Google are actually less likely to commit assault to passersby, but as one participant put it, “It made them seem dumber and...funny? And for a moment, I was not worried about my safety. Until he called both of us dumb whores, and then I was kind of worried again.” 

Now scientists are curious if the phenomenon extends to other AI’s. 

“When my husband yells at Alexa,” started Lisa McDermott, “He definitely looks silly. But then he turns his toxic rage onto me and the children and I can’t handle it anymore. I’m taking them to my sister’s. But, for one second, he does look silly.” 

One Turtle Bay resident defended himself. 

“I remember the good ol’ days before all these smartphones and do-dads,” explains Curt Yurt, “When there was nothing to distract a man from scolding and harassing women in the streets. Call me old school, but I still have a flip phone for that very reason.” 

Yurt then climbed onto his penny farthing and cycled off into the sunset.