OMG Yum! Trader Joe’s Replaces International Food Names With Simpler “Colonizer Joe's”
One of America’s most popular chain of grocery stores, Trader Joe’s, has announced that they will no longer be using their international product names in an effort to avoid stereotypical depictions of other countries and simply consolidate the brand as “Colonizer Joe.”
“It was a eureka moment for us,” said Trader Joe’s Head of Marketing, Joe Baxter. “We realized while looking at our large roster of international food items, that we should just embrace our strong colonizer energy.”
The international names were originally meant to pay homage to the countries and languages from which the food hails, such as Trader Jose's (Mexican food), Trader Ming's (Chinese food), Trader Giotto's (Italian food), Trader Joe-San (Japanese food), and Arabian Joe's (Middle Eastern food). But many have complained that the branding propagates ethnic stereotypes.
“I like shopping at Trader Joe’s,” said one Japanese customer, Wendy Sakuri. “But seeing the Joe on the label of some sushi rice wearing one of those cone hats and watching Hentai was too much. Plus, the ‘authentic’ Japanese cuisine was manufactured in Trenton, New Jersey.”
According to the branding division of Trader Joe’s Inc., each international label will be trashed and replaced with an illustration of Joe dressed in 1500s-era merchant garb on a large, wooden, heavily armed sea vessel apparently on his way to colonize a new country and pillage their culture for high-quality foodstuffs at surprisingly affordable prices.
The company has even decided to refresh the label of their domestic sub-brand, Pilgrim Joe, which features New England specialties like clam chowder. The packaging will now feature Joe deceiving a local native community with faulty trade bargains.
Based on the success of the rebrand, Trader Joe’s is considering developing a new brand called Missionary Joe, which will be the same quality international grocery products, but with overt Catholicism forced upon them.
