Bad Bunny Joins MCU As 'El Muerto,' Rosalía Insists On Playing Thanos-Type Villain 'The Colonizer'

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Marvelheads rejoice! Marvel Studios announced a brand new movie set in its MCU featuring world-famous reggaeton artist Bad Bunny as El Muerto. Shortly after the announcement, Spanish singer and songwriter Rosalía arrived at Marvel Studios, forced herself into a meeting, and insisted that she also "do El Muerto." This prompted Marvel writers to invent a new supervillain for the MCU to confront: The Colonizer.

If you’ve never heard of El Muerto before, don’t be surprised. The character was introduced in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #6 in 2006 and he has only appeared in a handful of Marvel issues since then. The Colonizer, on the other hand, has been in zero issues and will entail Rosalía venturing from planet to planet (do I sense a Gaurdians cross over?) and co-opting their music, fashion, and culture and attempting to pass it off as her own.

"I can do El Muerto," she said in an emergency press conference she organized alongside Marvel execs. "I listened to El Muerto once when I was 12 and so now I can do El Muerto too. Listen to me do El Muerto. I am an El Muerto artist now!"