Man Accidentally Bucks, Desperately Awaits Inevitable Knuck

TAMPA, FL—After accidentally bucking in a nearby Walmart earlier this morning, Javi Contreras, 28, has reportedly holed up in his apartment as he prepares for the subsequent knuck.

"He just came home in a rush and he was totally wide-eyed, terrified," said his girlfriend Maya Valasquez, who has had to temporarily sleep at her sister's place across town for the safety of her and her family. "He was sweating and shaking and he just said 'you need to leave. I think I bucked.'"

Valasquez, immediately understanding the gravity of the situation, quickly packed her things and sprinted out of the apartment before she was caught in the cross-knuck.

Shortly after her departure, a battalion of police cars arrived at Contreras' apartment complex in order to quell the expected knuck from spreading to other buck-less households. While Police Chief Frank Seaber is confident in his team's ability to execute a safely controlled knuck, they, unfortunately, can do nothing to protect Contreras at this juncture.

"Crime Mob law clearly states that if you, the boy, decide to buck, then you, the boy in question, must knuck immediately following said buck," explained Seaber as he ducked behind his cruiser. "I'm sorry but there's simply nothing we can do for him. Don't buck, kids. It's not worth it."

All the police can legally do, according to Seaber, is create a perimeter around the knuck zone to provide a clear space for "throwin'dem bows like Johnny Cage." The fire department, an ambulance and Lil’ Scrappy are also on the scene awaiting to grisly aftermath of Contreras' unfortunate buck.