New Drip, Who Dis? NYPD Pepper Spray Cans Receive Summer Redesign And We Are LIVING For It

We're in the throes of summer and that means new fashions and new trends—and this year is no different! The Mayor’s Office announced Sunday that the NYPD will be outfitted with new summer gear that pays tribute to our city and the culture of New York.

As well as ‘Five Borough Facemasks’ designed by local artists, New York’s Finest have been given new pepper spray canisters that act as a love letter to New York's beautiful diversity and are sure to incapacitate that diversity with style, flair, and deadly accuracy.

The canisters, which have a luscious summery peach and yellow color scheme, feature slogans such as “Love Wins”, “Defend Brooklyn” and “New York Tough” on the side, a much-needed nod to the rich history of the Big Apple.

And they have already seen much use this season, with many citizens reporting seeing the new designs being used liberally and without provocation. Confirming these scenes, The Mayor’s Office reported that as a result of the freshness and appeal of the new design, police requests for additional canisters had in fact increased by 300% on only two months.

"What the fuck did you say me?" said one NYPD Officer when asked about the new design. "Stand the fuck back or I will beat the shit out of you. I swear to God."

Having been such a huge hit, other cities are considering rebranding their own riot gear. Most notably the City of Portland is currently re-designing their non-descript vans that patrol the city and kidnapping protestors. Next week, they will debut during a midnight raid with the classic PDX slogan, "Keep Portland Weird 🤪."