Worse Things Than The N-Word, According To My White Boss Who Just Said The N-Word
Oop! Your boss just said the n-word and it's caught on tape. He, unfortunately, pays you your salary so here are some things that are—according to him—actually worse than the n-word.
Burping and hiccuping at the same time. The human body's equivalent of taking a screenshot not only rarely happens but it's way worse than the historic plight of Black people in America. It feels so weird!
Lusting, unrequitedly, after a controversial and long-dead historical figure. So, to be clear: he committed atrocities that would be defined as war crimes by today's standards—but he did have a jawline that serves.
Waking up at 5am every day because you saw an article about it in Forbes. If other people aren't interested in a morning routine written by and for billionaires who profited from apartheid, cut them off, sis!
Not having a TV mounted in your office. No one else even has an office, but asking a boss babe to be without her TV is like asking for French Press without ethically lab-grown ashwagandha root.
A piece of popcorn kernel stuck in your teeth for at least one (1) hour. Toothpicks lying in an adjacent room rather than your hand is the very definition of oppression. Seriously, look it up right now!
Trying to poop but it's hard and pointy. Black people, as a whole, have never been constipated in world history.
This tummy ache :( No one has ever or will ever know how awful it is to be victimized by an internal system that's supposed to protect you.
Paying your staff a living wage (Bonus: You have $900k in untouched SVOG money). We should all be accepting experience as money and we should act less entitled for money to live and eat!!!!
Autocorrect still changing "fucking" to "ducking" in this, the year of our lord 2022. This happens every ducking time and it drives me ducking crazy.
Putting on a jacket for the first time in months and there's no cash in the pocket. This only affects you and you've already gotten over it, but that brief moment of disappointment is leagues worse than whatever happened in Tulsa.
A member of your staff complaining to HR about being "exploited" and "overworked." Untrue! You've always treated them very well because you're an upstanding and moral mast–um, supervisor.
Not being cast in Seinfeld even though it ended in 1998 and you're not an actor or a comedian. Isn't this what Affirmative Action is for? Can we retroactively rectify this?
Someone calls you white. This word is a deep-cutting weapon disguised as an innocuous physical descriptor! No one in the world knows how it feels to be called this and it should be made illegal immediately.
