Woman Watches 'Euphoria' In Last-Ditch Effort To Understand Appeal Of Drugs

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Season two of the hit HBO show starring Zendaya has come to a shocking close as Lexi’s play brings mayhem both on and off the stage. But one DC woman is left wondering, what's the deal with drugs?

Jennifer Hardy, 33, has been watching the show since she heard what it was about in a desperate attempt to understand, what even are drugs? How do they make you feel? Why do people do them? Should I try them? 

“I just don’t get it,” said Hardy, scrutinizing one of the many scenes in which Zendaya's character abuses some non-descript substance. “I tried weed once in college but even then I had no idea how to feel.”

Hardy has very little understanding of the basics of drug use having only once smoked weed (which she was later informed was "mid"). This begs the age-old question: is she even cool? Like, she’s trying the glitter eye thing and looking totally busted... like you are not a Demie, girl.

“I don't understand," she asks, rewinding. "I mean, the scene with the merry-go-round... molly makes you horny like that?”

Hardy has engaged in very little experimentation with life so her only outlet for experiencing drugs is hit HBO programs. She has watched The Sopranos, The Wire, and even a few of the Harry Potters (when they were available) but they all just confused her more about the pros of recreational drug use.

“And the scene where Zendaya is dancing to Sinatra… should I be doing heroin? Is that a cool and fun drug?”