Woman Knows All Her Astrological Placements, Couldn’t Tell You Her Blood Type
BROOKLYN, NY—In a perplexing phenomenon out of Bed Stuy, a woman possessing extensive knowledge of the state of the cosmos at the time of her birth is having trouble recalling some pretty important personal medical information. Kara Sims, 28, may know her birth chart like the back of her hand, but seems to draw a blank when it comes to her blood type.
“‘I’m a Pisces sun, Leo moon, Aquarius rising," shared Sims confidently. “I’m about 55% positive I’m O-negative? That’s one of them, right?”
Sims, who has invested a considerable amount of time and money in her journey of self-knowledge—consulting multiple astrology apps a day, attending weekly therapy sessions, and even engaging pretty extensively with her annual Spotify Wrapped—knows the optics aren’t great, but claims she just prefers to prioritize more practical information.
“Okay, so, I get the importance of matching blood type in a medical emergency,” explained Sims. “But I think I’d just rather use my brain space for more useful, everyday stuff like knowing whether or not I’m going to vibe with someone based on the positioning of the planets at the exact moment we both exited our moms many years ago.”
Sims, however, maintains that she does, in some recess of her mind, know her blood type.
“It’s right on the tip of my tongue. Really!” continued Sims, “I mean, I’m almost 30. Obviously, I know my blood type. Do you know the ruler of your ascendant? Cause that’s also kinda major.”
Despite Sims’ defensiveness, her inner circle doesn’t seem too worried about her lopsided knowledge set. Most are impressed by her astrological prowess.
“It’s pretty amazing. You can see her mentally sketching a snapshot of the sky when you tell her your birth time. It’s all very ‘A Beautiful Mind,’” observed Mia Parker, Sims’ close friend. “The blood type stuff really isn’t a big deal. Doctors figure that stuff out on the fly all the time.”
“What does give me pause, though,” Parker continued. “Is that Kara can’t seem to recall the date of her last physical or the name of her PCP, but knows the exact phase of the moon at any given moment and puts her ‘spiritual advisor’ as her ‘emergency contact.’”
However, by press time, it seems Sims had made some surprising strides. After a quick test, the free spirit can finally confirm she is AB-, which is, according to Sims, “soooo me. I wonder what my rising blood type is!”
As for what’s next? “I’m excited to really do the work and unpack even more about myself,” commented Sims, “Like, I just booked an appointment with a past life regressionist who thinks I may have once been Mesopotamian royalty, and, on top of that, I’m even looking into finding out my credit score!”
