Woman Insists QAnon Boyfriend Actually Has Many Good Qualities, No Really!

NEW HOPE, PA—After sharing recent revelations that boyfriend Jason Hooper was a firm believer in the QAnon movement, local woman Kira Carpenter reportedly assured friends that he was actually a really, really good guy.

“Kira has always had terrible, facepalming, mind-numbingly bad taste in men so when she said she had met a good one, I was suspicious,” said close friend and confidant Priyanka Davis

Carpenter told friends that since moving into an apartment together two months into dating, Hooper has become a lot more brazen about sharing his earnest belief that Donald Trump is in a battle against a Satan-worshipping cabal of elite, left-leaning pedophiles. 

“I know it’s bad and it goes against everything I believe,” said Carpenter, “But I am stuck in a lease and he still treats me way better than every other boyfriend I’ve ever had,” she explained as she folded his HILLARY WILL BURN t-shirt. “I mean—he hasn’t stolen money from me yet or hit on any of my friends’ mothers.”

She insists he is basically perfect minus that one thing and even sent flowers to her work. This was shortly after a recent argument where he explained in a hate-fueled fury that the LGBTQIA has a secret agenda to add pedophilic TV writers as a protected class under the rainbow umbrella.

“As an out bisexual and someone with great respect for television writing, that deeply disturbed me, but no guy has ever gotten me flowers!” she said beamingly, “Plus he fucks me good and I can’t discount that.”

Most recently, self-proclaimed “digital soldier” Hooper posited that "Hollywood libtard" Meryl Streep had a secret, underage sex trafficking monorail 5,000 feet in the sky cloaked by an invisible shield. Carpenter wrote in a text to Davis: “That really crossed the line. I love Mama Mia!” before returning to a snuggle session on the couch marathoning HGTV with her boyfriend.

Carpenter stated that she has no plans to leave him at present but will be complaining periodically to her friends about his behavior.