Bed And Breakfast Owner As Quaintly Racist As Website Suggests
HOMER, AK—New York Couple Deepika Khan and Mariana De León were delighted to check in to their B'n'B to find that caucasian owner Shelly Sanders was indeed just as quaintly bigoted as pictures on her website implied.
Sanders posted numerous photos of the home: the hand-quilted bedspreads, close-ups of various porcelain figurines, and a picture of her in the mahogany breakfast nook that just gave the couple “a deeply racist vibe.”
Decked in clothes of a bygone era, Sanders had a homey feel, old bones, and weathered hands De León described as having “gripped a purse tighter a time or two.” Khan explained further: “We were looking to get away from the more subtle, insidious racism of gentrified Brooklyn and the loud, aggressive racism of Staten Island where Mariana’s father lives, and just experience that down-home, small-town, simple-living racism. You know, like where race-based resentment is masked by polite, downright charming exchanges.”
Sanders pressed her lips into a smile and treated them with the utmost hospitality immediately upon arrival.
“The first night, I almost began to think we had misjudged," said De León. "But then everything fell into place during breakfast when she kept alluding to crime in big cities.”
They assured the host that their neighborhood was quite safe to which Sanders replied, “Guess you don’t live near a barbershop then,” and then spread out jars of custom homemade jam for the hungry couple.
“Her racism felt so antiquated, almost sweet. Like a vintage crochet doily on a hate-filled Victorian oak table, said De León. “It was just what we needed. She asked what color we are. Haven't heard that one in some time!”
When Sanders realized the women were also gay, the normally chatty host suddenly remembered she had some dusting to do.
