Op-Ed: Men Should Never Objectify Women, But It’s Tight For Me To Shout 'Awoooooga' When I See A Nice Rack

When a man catcalls a woman, it’s disgusting. There is no excuse.

However, as a woman myself, I should be able to honk like an old-timey car horn any time I see a nice pair of jugs. Hear me out.

Men don’t truly understand the beauty of the breast, you see. So, when they objectify these sacred objects it is gauche, wack, lame, annoying. As someone who has a glorious pair of funbags herself, I can fundamentally appreciate—and therefore make—clown noises at them.

What other response should I have when feasting my eyes upon those majestic mountains?

Other than breaking out into song or saying “helloooooo nurse,” my options are really limited to kazoo noises and airhorns. Again, this is just for me. Men are allowed a passing glance and they should be grateful they even get that.