Wikipedia CEO Will Let You Sleep With His Wife For Just $5 Donated To Site

MANHATTAN, NY—Earlier this week, Wikipedia CEO released an alarming plea on his site titled: “CUT THE SHIT.”

The statement read: ”Please don’t scroll. We need you. I need you. Please. NO, DON’T SCROLL. I was nice about it but now I’m taking matters into my own hands. All we need is $5, got it? We were loyal to you during your time in school when you were too lazy to read even entry-level novels. We gave you the answers right when you needed them and you didn't even have to cite us. So, if you want to make right by history, donate just 5 dollars. If you do, my wife is ready to please you.”

A close source to the CEO stated that he is willing to give the next lucky donor to Wikipedia, a night with his wife—no rules. The source went on to add that due to COVID, a remote night is an option as well where you will get premium access to his wife’s OnlyFans. 

Wikipedia also sweetened the pot, stating that for the small donation you can also have special editor access to Wikipedia content as well as have the CEO watch you bang his wife if you’re into that sort of thing.

The CEO’s wife went to social media posting a risqué photo with the caption, “If you are ready to give back, please consider donating to Wikipedia. I'll be sure to send you a thank you note ;)”

The CEO’s wife refused to give a statement to Flexx Mag but was quick to take to Twitter posting a black background with white text writing, “Enough is enough (prayer emoji)” Many people believed her post could be due to the recent devastating attacks on Ukraine, but soon clarified it was about her support for Wikipedia.