Sources Say Biden Is Sitting On An 'N-Word' Pass, Here’s When He'll Likely Use It
Anonymous sources say Joe Biden was given half an “N-word” pass when 44th President Barack Obama forgot to get him anything for his 73rd birthday. The other half was secured when Kamala Harris was announced to be Biden’s running mate.
While not the first politician to be given one (Bill Clinton received a lifetime pass by Arsenio Hall, and Thomas Jefferson’s has been posthumously revoked) in this time of racial turmoil finding the right opportunity to use it will be crucial.
We’ve gathered a list of times we think the presidential hopeful will most likely fulfill the age-old covenant started by a group of single-issue abolitionists.
At the beach! What’s a little fun in the sun without being able to wade into the water and say it while your mouth is submerged so only the fish can hear you?
As a mic drop moment after being able to tell the correct date on national television: It’s happened to you, some alt-right funded propaganda machine puts together a list of your worst moments and now everyone thinks you’re a 77-year-old man running for president. Oh, wait. That part is real. Biden might take this opportunity to show that he can retain the date once his advisors write it in his notes.
While guesting on Armchair Expert. As he and Dax Shepard discuss the horrors of racism from the perspective of two white people, Joe Biden might choose to let it slip, exemplifying what it means to be a “palatable white guy”
Calling Pence one in response to being called “sissy boy”: Pence won’t stop saying it so maybe this will shut him up or at least confuse him.
Referring to Bernie Sanders, but not like he draws attention to it, just real casual-like: In an effort to get the youth vote, Biden might refer to Sanders as his “N-word,” hoping it could draw some fans from voters that have actually been paying attention to what’s happening in this country, and probably won’t be fooled by such a vain gesture.
He’s saving it for his resignation speech: sources say against his advisors' better judgment he has a speech prepared with the "hard r."
Whenever Biden decides to use his rumored pass we can be sure that much like him as a candidate, it will be fine. No more, no less.
