Shabbas Ranked: The Definitive List Of Every Shabba, Ranked

How often has this happened to you? You’re at a family gathering and everyone’s arguing viciously about their favorite Shabbas. You want to chime in but you simply have no evidence to back your claims. You look like a fool. Well, we’re here to help. Here is our bi-annual Shabba Ranking:

#5 Shabba Johnson

Johnson, the first Shabba on our list, is an all around great Shabba. He’s a stay at home dad in Dayton, Ohio, with a love for the finer things. As far as Shabbas go, you could do way worse.

#4 Shabba O’Neil

O’Neil, a youth pastor at the local Methodist Church, is one Shabba you won’t forget. He uses relatable anecdotes and guitar playing to connect with his students on a deeper level. Fantastic Shabba, if you ask me.

#3 Shabba Ishihara

Up-and-coming street artist Shabba Ishihara is a clear entry on the Shabba list. His work his gone viral on instagram and he was even commissioned by Kanye West to design t-shirts for homeless children. I’m loving that Shabba.

#2 Shabba Ranks

Easily one of the most recognizable Shabbas on this list, Ranks is an internationally famous Dancehall star who put out hit after hit in the late 80s and early 90s. Top notch Shabba, I must say.

#1 Shabba Wolkowitz

Now, this is the Cadillac of Shabbas. Wolkowitz, a data engineer in Silicon Valley, is currently developing his app, Mstrd, which uses AR technology to allow users to see what their hotdog would look like if it had mustard on it. This Shabba is aerodynamic, light while still maintaining gravitas. A true Shabba for the ages.

Headline co-written by Alex Gonzalez.