'Nothing Like Motherhood!' Mom Cleans Teenage Son’s Bedroom, Steals Weed From Sock Drawer

BOWLING GREEN, OH—Parents often struggle with doing too much for their children, but Shauna Davidson, a professor of economics at Bowling Green State University, finds lending an extra hand to her teenage son offers its own little rewards.

“I have no problem cleaning Anthony’s room," said Davidson while tearing off a piece of her son’s Wiz Khalifa poster for wrapping paper. "That way it’s easier to steal weed from his sock drawer.”

“Usually, I have no problem getting my own shit,” she explained as she rolled up on her living room coffee table. "But both my husband and I are up for tenure, so we don’t want to chance it. Besides, what is he going to do, cry to his parents that someone’s taking his weed? Hah, dumbass.”

Davidson says parents will be surprised with the benefits extra help for your children can bring.

“Anthony has taken the initiative to get an after-school job at the local Krogers, and I couldn’t be prouder," she said between deep pulls on her son's glass bong that was hidden underneath his bed. "He isn’t smoking himself stupid like some of the other kids in the neighborhood. He’s got a drive that no substance can hinder. That, or I keep taking too much weed and his allowance alone won’t support his habit--" She couldn't complete the statement because she was coughing so hard.

We reached out to her son to comment on his mother’s overenthusiastic help with his chores.

“I mean, I’m more than capable of cleaning my room and stuff,” he said as he replaced his torn poster with one of Thundercat. "But she always seems so relaxed afterward, so whatever makes her happy.”

“Being a parent is all about teaching life lessons,” said Davidson while making three pots of mac and cheese and ordering Pizza Hut. “And as an economist, I can help but teach my son basics like asset allocation: if you put all your weed in one easy to find spot, your ass ends up broke.”

When asked if she was worried about her son’s drug use, she responded, “What are you, a fucking cop?”