It Was Fun While It Lasted! Denmark, Sweden To Join NATO, Making It Not Super Cool And Exclusive Anymore

BRUSSELS—After several tense months of deliberation, Sweden and Denmark are officially seeking NATO membership. This would bring the total number of member states to 32, and according to recent reports, make the organization 46% less cool to be a part of.

Exclusivity is directly correlated to coolness. That’s why the popular kids never let you sit with them, even though there were five perfectly good slots on the lunchroom bench you could’ve easily slid into.

NATO was formed on April 4, 1949, and was instantly considered by everyone as the “ultimate cool kidz club” of planet Earth. With only 12 founding members (mostly seniors and like, two juniors), unhip countries were left out and immediately thrown into fits of jealous rage. Eventually, the city of Berlin was forced to divide and erect concrete walls, creating a “pillow zone,” with one side being significantly doper than the other.

Soviet powers even tried to construct a rival cool gang in 1955, the Warsaw Pact, to no avail (organizations were all the rage while pacts are whack).

Now that NATO is the corniest crew to be part of, the countries of Georgia and Ukraine don’t know if they want to join anymore. An official from Ukraine commented, “yes, we’re in the middle of a war and yes, we need all the help we can get, but we can wait it out a few more weeks before chumming it up with those bunch of losers. Now, get lost, nerd!"