If You're Reading This It's Already Too Late To Register To Vote, Stupid
Hey, stupid. It’s too late to register to vote.
I bet you’re wondering: how do I know? I know because it’s November 7th and the elections have already happened, you fucking birdshit.
Remember when all your friends were talking about how important these midterms were? They said “You’d have to be a total clown to not vote in this election.” Well look at you, King Bozo — you’re the head honcho of absolute nitwits.
Lorraine from Accounting even had a voter registration event at work, and she once microwaved a box of Hot Pockets without removing anything and still ate it. Of course when she asked if you were registered, you just told her “I’ll do it later” and continued drawing Neopets hentai.
I mean, come on, you must have seen one of the trillions of ads about registering to vote. What did your dumb ass have to do that was more important than participate in your democracy? I’ll tell you what: nothing, you fucking meatspin-47-count-ass bitch.
Why didn’t you register to vote? I don’t know. Maybe you’re okay with the current state of affairs. Maybe you want to watch the world burn. Or maybe you’re just slithering around the damp floor of a Tilly’s.
Anyway, let’s go rob this pharmacy.