Immigrant Student Embarks On 4-Year Degree To Steal Job From Citizen
High school graduate Teresa Martínez is excited to start school at the University of Wisconsin-Madison this fall to study Business, which is just one part of her multi-step, lifelong plan to steal a job from an American citizen.
“I balanced seven AP Classes, extracurriculars, and a side job to pay for applications,” said Martínez in a statement to perhaps justify her self-serving behavior. “I just hope this degree will allow me to get a job to pay off my student loans in the next 10-15 years.”
Martínez did not act alone. Her parents first decided to take away a career opportunity from a more-deserving, realer American almost a decade before her birth when they selfishly relocated to the United States. They knew even then that Martínez would one day grow up to graduate high school, enroll in college, earn a degree and then use said degree to take away a job from a born and bred hard-working American, just like they did.
“We wanted to give our daughter opportunities I never had,” said Martínez’s mother who seems to be as equally self-serving as her daughter. “So we saved up and came here.”
Furthermore, of the only two scholarships offered by the university for people of color, immigrants, poor people, women, LGBTQ, and differently abled people, Martínez applied and unjustly got one of them for her unfairly-well-written essay and credentials, taking an opportunity away from someone who actually deserved it by being born within the 2,680 mile-wide land of the continental United States, or Hawaii, Guam, Puerto Rico, and Virgin Islands.
“I hope I can make my parents proud but mostly I hope I can just get a good job with pay good enough to help pay for their hospital bills,” said Martínez who seems to always be thinking of her own problems rather than the problems of white people she's never met.
Martínez is already in the process of applying to Amazon, one of America’s top corporations that recently cut benefits from their employees, to steal a highly-coveted warehouse fullfillment position from a respectable U.S. citizen.
“I want 42-year-old Phil Stanton's job as a warehouse employee for Amazon. I don't know who he is, but I swear on my dying mother that I will take his job and leave him unemployed. Mark my words, Phil. I'm coming for you."
