Go Off, Girl Boss! Woman Promoted To CEO Because Company Already Going Downhill

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Sarah Johnson just made herstory at work when she was recently hired as the first-ever female CEO at her company, which coincidentally happens to be a part of multiple scandals recently and is also having to file for bankruptcy and is being dissolved and absorbed by General Mills in Q3 of this year.

The other executives are beaming with support for Johnson.

“We are just so excited to watch her attempt to save our company from its absolutely inevitable downfall that our last CEO caused,” claims David Worchester, a long-time board member. “We knew that if there was anyone who would try their hardest to save a sinking ship, it’d be her. Women just have such strong work ethics. It's just their nature.”

When we asked Sarah how she felt about her new position, she humbly claimed that she's nervous since she has not been prepared to deal with the challenges ahead.

“They just keep telling me that it’s so cool to see a woman in charge and that I’m such an inspiration for young women everywhere..." said johnson on the way to a hearing before Congress to defend the company from money laundering allegations. "I mostly just hope that there won’t be any blame attached to my name.”

Soon after the interview, an article came out detailing the company’s downfall and included no mention of the former CEO’s failures while claiming that this will likely not be a good look for Sarah Johnson’s career.