Dying Father Asks Son If He Turned Off Kitchen Lights Before Leaving For Hospital

ORLANDO, FL—Trying to speak through labored breaths as his family gathered around him, local dying dad Perry Arbuckle, 79, was reportedly wondering whether his son had switched off the lights before heading to the hospital.

“Son... My dear son... did you turn off the living room lights?” Arbuckle asked his son quietly, holding his son's hand. “Maybe you should go back to the house and check. I see the light.... should I go towards it? I've lived a good, decent life—also, make sure the patio door is locked while you're there."

Sources close to the family stated that despite being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, Perry described that the biggest pain in his life was the recent hike in the prices of electricity, reminding us that electricity does not, in fact, "grow on trees."

“It’s basically a daylight robbery now," he told his wife before the onset of a sudden fit of coughs. "At this rate, I might consider selling the house and shifting into a cave but then I'm sure Biden will start taxing fire too. The light, it's so bright and warm. Should I let go and pass on?”

The situation got so tense that Perry’s son Russ was forced to leave the hospital and make a visit back home. But Russ was not disappointed to carry out the task, “I can finally make my father proud of me,” he said, “I’ve waited for this moment for so long. I need to stop for gas anyway.”

Doctor Mike Truglio, the cancer specialist who was in charge of Perry, stated that he was surprised at having to treat him.

“Usually, before an operation, my patients say their prayers. Mr. Arbuckle, instead, was questioning me on whether solar panels are cheaper than conventional electricity or if they're just just more 'liberal hogwash.'"

At press time, reports confirmed that Arbuckle had asked his daughter to look after her mother and make sure she avails the discount coupons at Walmart before the doctors escorted all family members out for the operation.