Brand New Le Creuset Sitting In Same Kitchen As Le Trash Can You Found In Le Street

AUSTIN, TX—On a thrilling day for your apartment, researchers found a new Le Creuset dutch oven sitting in your le kitchen. After traveling from Le Williams Sonoma via a delivery truck, it now sits happily on your stove, right in the same room as le trash can you found in le street.

“I’m so excited to finally have a Le Creuset,” said Jonah Berry, your roommate of two years, a man who hasn't cooked a meal in over three years. “It’s an investment, but it’s worth it. Can't cook high-quality food without high-quality materials."

The gleaming, aqua-hued dutch oven, which is known for its versatility in everything except not costing $400, feels right at home with the scratched up nonstick pans, crusty dish towels from college, and your spatula with a disturbingly high spider body count.

“I’m going to boil so much water in this,” said Berry, sticking a Post-it Note on the lid detailing dishwashing instructions, as if.

Le Creuset’s corporate headquarters added in a statement: “We are so, so happy that this expensive piece of kitchenware has found a place in Jonah’s kitchen, in a beautiful pre-war unit that was once the scene of what one exterminator called ‘a career-high.’ Thank god our product lives there and not in, like, Heidi Klum’s kitchen.”

Berry concluded that he might also get a set of Le Creuset mugs to join le cabinet’s existing supply of le chipped mugs from the le bank.