Woman Wins First Ever Oscar For Best Fake Orgasm, Thanks Boyfriend Of Two Years

BROOKLYN, NY—Nicole Lunis made history this weekend after winning the first-ever Academy Award in the new Best Fake Orgasm category.

“I didn’t think I was going to cry but here we are,” said Lunis while dabbing her eyes and waving her Oscar as her boyfriend Bruce Parks looked on in confusion and embarrassment.

“I couldn’t be here without Bruce. Baby, you’re my muse, my inspiration, the reason I’m here,” said Lunis in tears as fellow actors Keanu Reeves and Chris Pine sobbed quietly at the actress's touching speech.

Lunis and Parks have dated for two years and according to the Lunis, the Oscar seemed like a dream after a record-breaking 11 nominations.

“After the 11 nominations it’s normal to feel like, will I ever have a chance?! Luckily, Bruce came through. When I said, ‘Baby you’re so big!’ his reaction gave me the strength to go above and beyond.”

Parks, her boyfriend of two years, however, was stunned.

“I thought I was really big. I’m just confused. I had no idea that she was even nominated or even an actress,” said Parks while looking down so cameras wouldn’t capture him sobbing. “I can’t believe Lebron James presented the award. He’s my hero and now he thinks my stroke game is garbage.”

Lunis hopes to be a two-time Oscar winner.

“I’m excited to work with other people! I heard a few actors are now single, including Ben Affleck, an easy win!”