Taco Bell Replacing Mexican Pizza With Voicemail Of Your Mom Telling You There’s Food At Home

Taco Bell announced that it will be replacing the fan-favorite Mexican Pizza with a more enticing menu item: a personalized voicemail of your mom telling you there’s food at home.

“We know a lot of customers are disappointed with our decision to ax the Mexican Pizza, and we hear you,” said a Taco Bell representative. “Our market research has shown that if you love the Mexican Pizza, you’re going to go wild over your mom telling you there’s food already at home.”

Here’s how it works: Taco Bell is collecting voicemails from mothers everywhere that explain no matter how drunk or high—or worse, neither—you are, you’re perfectly capable of pulling something together with the random lunch meat and the gooey bag of kale you have in your fridge.

“If you let me know when you’re coming home, I can defrost the refried beans I have in the freezer and make Taco Bell at home,” says one voicemail. “We have shredded cheese too. Stop spending money! That food is garbage, not like your mother’s!”

“You’re breaking out again,” says another voicemail. “You know why you get adult acne? Because you don’t eat what we have at home.”

Taco Bell tested out the new menu item in limited locations, and so far, the results have been as anticipated: customers are saving money, but are extremely salty about it.

“I know there’s food at home,” said one customer, who declined to give her name because she was embarrassed about ugly crying over the Mexican Pizza. “But I just want her back!!!”

At press time, the food at home kind of sucks.