Scientists Discover World’s Hardest Substance, Softest Still Lin-Manuel Miranda
American Journal of Science has just announced that scientists have indeed found the world’s hardest substance. Where as before it was graphene, a one-atom-thick sheet of carbon, scientists have discovered sumnterine, an even stronger, less dense material.
But the softest material? Still Lin Manuel Miranda.
“Well,” explains lead scientist Dr. Bartley, “We’re always discovering new and more intricate ways that atoms stack up and create a hard material. But the softest will always be Lin Manuel Miranda. He’s one thousand units softer than talc, the softest mineral on earth. We’ve been begging him to let us dissect him and find it out, but he’s too busy.”
There are numerous tests to determine the hardness of a material. If it’s a mineral, the Mohs Hardness Test is tried and true. The harder material will scratch the softer one. If it’s with atoms and nanospheres, electromagnetic microscopes will run tests.
And to determine a soft material?
“We just look at the muther fucker, to be honest,” continues Dr. Bartley.
When asked to comment, Mr. Miranda broke down crying and forgave us, forgave everyone.
Here's the updated Mohs Hardness Scale for reference:
