Publishing Houses Stand in Solidarity With Authors of Color By Paying Them All Same Shit Advance

The big five publishing houses have linked their arms with the #PublishingPaidMe movement by promising to pay authors of color the same insultingly low advances on their books.

“We just felt like it was time for us to step in and be transparent,” a representative for HarperCollins wrote. “We believe in all things being equal, and for us, that means making sure that every author of color receives absolute garbage advances.”

With black authors sharing their low advances of $20,000, publishing houses quickly stepped to the plate to assure them that they were not alone.

“We know there is a gap between how much we pay our black authors,” said one representative. “Sometimes we pay $20,000 and sometimes we pay $30,000. Sometimes we buy them Sweetgreen. We’re working on closing that gap and paying all authors of color $15,000 so they’ll shut the fuck up. It’s the right thing to do.”

“This right here! So brave!” said one white YA Author who shared that she received a six figure advance for a novel series she describes as “a story about two star-crossed teenage dragons who fall in love against their parent's wishes. Oh, and it’s also a post-apocalyptic dystopia or some bullshit, I forget. It’s basically Hunger Games, but awful.” 

“It’s important for us to be open and stand up for what is right,” said a doorman from Simon & Schuster,

“Especially during a time like this,” said a marketing intern from Penguin Random House.

When asked to elaborate on “a time like this,” the intern stated sweating and showing off that he had replaced his Twitter profile picture with a black circle before running out of the room.