With ‘MAGA Hat Kid’ Confrontation In Rearview, Natives Excited To Fade Back Into Invisibility

With ‘MAGA Hat Kid’ Confrontation In Rearview, Natives Excited To Fade Back Into Invisibility

With media coverage of the confrontation between Nathan Phillips and that little shitfuck firmly in the rearview, the Native community is thrilled to resume their natural state of complete and inexorable invisibility.

“It’s been exhausting to have my race acknowledged for the first time since Standing Rock,” explained Joe Connors, a Washoe citizen. “The first couple sympathetic messages from other people of color were nice. But then the white gays co-opted the situation to scream-tweet about how they ‘recognized that kid’s look’ — and then the white conservatives made Nathan out to be this intergalactic serial killer.”

“All in all, it’s good to go back to no one acknowledging us at all in any way whatsoever,” said Connors as he faded away into a wisp imperceptible by human sight.

Michigan State professor of Indigenous studies (and Tolowa citizen) Jenn Maxwell believes the “high visibility” of the recent headlines about Phillips is part of a larger natural cycle.

“Every 3 to 5 years, we see non-Natives suddenly latch onto a headline around a Native person or event, which renders the Native community briefly visible. It’s part of settlers’ biological makeup, something as natural as birds flying south during winter, or absolute losers cosplaying as Deadpool,” said Maxwell.

“During this brief window, non-Native families are known to gawk at Native people the same way they stare directly into an eclipse — through a pinhole box in a remote field,” added Maxwell before she, too, transformed into an unseeable mist.

“Oh, there I go! You can’t see me anymore!” she added as she vanished like steam from a crockpot.

7 Muppets That Can Get This Neck

7 Muppets That Can Get This Neck

SNL Still Most Progressive Show Trump Hosted During Campaign

SNL Still Most Progressive Show Trump Hosted During Campaign