Op-Ed: Why Can’t I Be Friends With All The Women I've Treated Poorly? Make It Make Sense!

It’s come to my attention that a lot of women I’ve ghosted, dumped, and/or occasionally gaslit no longer want to be around me, and honestly, what gives?! 

I have apologized countless times for my actions including but not limited to: leaving them with the check multiple times when I asked them out to dinner, telling them that exercise would help them make their ass bigger—I am famously a butt guy, so just trying to be helpful—And the one time I accidentally cheated on this one chick, Claire. I know I moved into her home but honestly, we never really said outright that we were exclusive so technically, I didn’t cheat. (Side note: I'm looking for an apartment right now if anyone has any good leads. Claire wants me out.)

I wake up every morning feeling horrible that these women will no longer let me into their lives. Don’t they remember all the good times we had? Like when I took one of them to the Knicks game and she paid for my ticket? Or the time I asked one of them to come with me to my Pediatrician appointment because I was nervous to have my first check-up in a decade? Or, how could they forget the time they helped me find my biological father? That was dope. Yeah, I did stop speaking to some of them for weeks afterward but I just have a lot going on and couldn’t be there for them in the same way. Shit happens! 

I just think people should be more forgiving. Honestly, I am such a great guy and really add value to the relationship. I hope you understand that I never meant anything I did and I’d love to be friends with you again so we can go back to the way things were. I can text you at 2 AM and ask "you want this dick?" and then fall asleep on my own couch.

Oh well. Until then, so much love (not in that way lols) and light to all of them.