Op-Ed: It's Time We Abolish One-Swipe Voting In Favor Of Ranked Choice Tinder

Tinder’s One-Swipe voting system just isn’t working anymore.

The Founding Fathers warned us that One-Swipe would hasten dissent into a dichotomous system of desirables to the exclusion of all others. George Washington probably said, “A One-Swipe system serves to give artificial likes and extraordinary attention to an artful and enterprising minority.” John Adams said, “There is no greater evil because it stops a lot of people from hooking up.”

One-Swipe has also led to issues of extremism and radicalism, with users making increasingly disingenuous claims on their bios to galvanize candidates and drive likes. It also leads to the default disqualification of potential third-party hoes.

The consequences of One-Swipe came to a head in November 2016. Despite rigorous polling by three independent major friendship groups, all were unable to predict that my date would steal my wallet and buy over $2,000 of stuff on Amazon before I could cancel my credit cards.

However, the solution to Tinder’s woes may be found in a Ranked Choice Voting system. By ranking candidates according to appeal, we can break the dichotomy and give greater voice to niche candidates, including the Thicc-With-Personality Coalition, the Awful Selfie Alliance, and the Accidentally-Got-Ketchup-On-My-Shirt-But-Otherwise-Perfectly-Fine Collective.

This model has been adopted to great effect by Tinder derivatives in other First-World nations, including 'Tulukset' in Finland, and ‘Crikey’ in Australia, which has seen 40% less ghosting and 20% more fucking.

It’s time we stop perpetuating a broken system and adopt one that provides the greatest sexual welfare for all its users.