Op-Ed: Hey Alex Jones, Don't Forget You Also Owe Me Like $20

Alex!

Hey dude, sorry to hear about the trial last week. You know the one—where you now have to pay about a billion dollars to the parents of the children who were murdered in Sandy Hook that you repeatedly verbally berated and called actors on your show? And now you owe them like a billion dollars?

Tough break, dude. I would've totally been at the trial but I had laundry.

Anyway, I know this is a tough time for you, and I hate to do this, but I kinda need that $20 you also owe me. Remember when I ordered us Dominoes that night before your show, where we did one of those episodes—you know the one. The one about the parents of the children who were murdered in Sandy Hook that you repeatedly verbally berated and called actors?

Yah, one of the episodes that now you owe a billion dollars for.

Anyway, I got black olives on those pizzas at your request so... No rush though! You can pay me after you pay a billion dollars to those Sandy Hook parents. It was like $20 or $25 or something around there. I just don't want you to forget. Just Venmo or Zelle me, or have me take you to trial—whatever’s easiest for you!

See ya!