Food Review: Papa John's Shaq-A-Roni Pizza Pretty Tasty, But Not Actually As Big As Shaq, Not Even Close

Jul 11

Jul 11 Food Review: Papa John's Shaq-A-Roni Pizza Pretty Tasty, But Not Actually As Big As Shaq, Not Even Close

Happy day for pizzaheads! Papa John's restaurants have brought back a fan favorite, the Shaq-a-roni Pizza. As promoted both in their web advertisements and commercials, it is described as follows:

“A pizza that's bigger than pizza! Eight foldable, Shaq-sized slices loaded with extra cheese and extra pepperoni spread to the edge.”

“Shaq-sized”... That’s the key phrase. Because if my research is correct, former basketball player Shaquille O’Neal is… 7’1 and 324 pounds.

That got me excited, and I knew I had to try it for myself.

So, I ordered one large Shaq-a-roni, unsure if I would even be able to finish a pizza of such size, and one of such a storied championship pedigree. I was titillated by the challenge. Let’s not forget, that this pizza needs to also have the clutch gene necessary to win three titles with the Los Angeles Lakers and one with the Miami Heat, not to mention a charming onscreen persona beloved by sports fans around the globe.

This needs to be an MVP-caliber pizza!

Upon delivery, however, I regret to inform you that it was not 7’1 in diameter, but rather, a mere 1’4.

16 inches—or for Shaq fans: one of Shaquille's hands.

Was this a joke? Did the Papa pull a fast one on me, again?

Just to give you an idea, I knew it couldn’t dunk before I even took one bite. It was that obvious. Now, was it still good? Sure. But was it good enough to be selected to eight First Teams All-NBA, and fifteen All-Star games in twenty seasons? Hell no.

If the real Shaq was a number-one overall pick, it was disappointing to realize that the Shaq-a-roni Pizza would’ve definitely dropped down my draft board. To be honest with you, there were moments around the third or fourth slice where I questioned if this pizza could even go pro.

Maybe someday I’ll finally find that one pizza with a dominating presence in the paint and lockdown rim protection. But until then, I guess I’ll just keep shooting my shot… with national pizza chains.