Egyptologists In Giza Discover Fully Intact Retro Diner

GIZA, EGYPT—In a discovery experts around the world are hailing as unprecedented, a team of Egyptologists discovered the first fully intact retro diner on the outskirts of Giza.

“Qasim’s Soda Shoppe seems to be a pristine relic with all the qualities of a retro diner remaining perfectly preserved: checkered floor tiles, neon lighting, malted shakes," reported Dr. Michael Allenberg, while putting coins in a vintage jukebox to blast an old Chubby Checker LP. "All the waitresses here are over forty and have cigarette breath.”

The discovery occurred when Dr. Allenberg began excavating a site thought to be a secondary tomb for pets belonging to King Tutankhamun at the end of the 18th Dynasty. During the dig, Allenberg's team stumbled upon what looked like an old Letterman's jacket buried in the sand.

“Most discovered diners have been tarnished by renovations that have removed most of the fun, retro details. In some cases, they're fully converted into banks, insurance offices, or Taco Bells. However, to discover a seemingly untouched eatery that—upon walking in—has no indication you were in the twenty-first century is groundbreaking.”

The team said this discovery can help give the field a better understanding of what Egyptian food establishments were like decades ago.