Dad Declares Man-Made Lake 'Pretty Convincing'
TAMPA, FL—Local dad Dale Forestner says he was "surprised" and ultimately "impressed" upon hearing that a nearby lake was man-made.
"It could’ve fooled me," Forestner admitted yesterday. "Looks like other, real lakes that I've seen. I'll be damned."
Noting his propensity for building things, and thus recognizing other things that have been built, Forestner commended the developers of his local lake for doing a “bang-up job.”
“I’d love to buy the construction manager a beer and talk logistics,” Forestner stated, before going on to indiscreetly Google “What is a man-made lake?” and assuring our reporters that he knew a thing or two about man-made lakes, reservoirs, and dykes himself. He then reported, unprompted, while glancing down at his phone, that, “Man-made lakes are usually constructed by using a dam to divert a portion of a river to store the water within a reservoir. During seasonal changes, water runoff and precipitation add to the reservoir, which helps in the prevention of evaporation. They are also formed through excavating land or with the use of dykes surrounding the water.”
Our reporters later confirmed that this information was taken, verbatim, from an article by Engineering Specialists Incorporated.
Forestner went on to add, “I went and saw the Hoover Dam back in ‘82 and this lake looks nothing like that. Blows my mind! Would love to get down to brass tacks about how they did the thing. Maybe offer a few pointers for next time."
At press time, Forestner said that, although he had initially been surprised to learn that the lake was man-made, it was making more sense the longer he thought about it
“In the five years that I’ve lived here, I’ve never had any luck fishing on that lake,” said Forestner. “And, trust me, I’m no novice. Makes sense, then, that the lake’s man-made—because if there were any fish in there, I would’ve caught one by now.”
Forestner disputed our reporter's findings that there were, indeed, fish in this lake, stating, “No, that can’t be right. See, I’m a big fish guy. Walleye, yellow bass, channel catfish, bullheads, crappies, white bass, perch—you name it! If there’s a fish somewhere, I know it. You’re going to have a hell of a time convincing me there’s even one fish in that lake, pal.”
Our reporters did some digging and discovered that local 12-year-old, Ava Wilson, was in the local paper just last month for having caught a whopping five-pound perch while out fishing on the lake in question.
Dale Forestner was unable to be reached for further comment.
