Congrats, It's A Series! Netflix Exec Gives Birth To 6 Lb. 9 Oz. Piece Of Content
LOS GATOS, CA—It was announced yesterday that Netflix's senior vice president of film acquisitions and disrespecter of the craft of storytelling Rita Fuller, 41, gave birth to a 6-pound 9-ounce piece of content.
The new mother is reportedly doing well and the content appears to be a healthy profit. In a post-partum presser, Fuller characterized the nine months of negotiating her pregnancy as tough and often strained.
“Frankly, in working to bring this content to fruition it often felt like I was being offered nothing but headaches. It was enough to make me sick,” said Fuller, attempting to feed the content an algorithmically-tailored cast and plot. “Specifically I was sick nearly every single morning, and the only reason I did not walk was that I was too bloated-feeling and tired.”
Though initial plans were to release as many as three pieces of content simultaneously to allow for the now-fashionable practice of binge-parenting, Fuller finally settled on releasing just one to start and the rest at intervals of one year to allow word of mouth to build interest as the content is rolled out.
“Not only will a more patient release schedule likely garner more attention as the series of content builds, but allowing time for feedback to filter back will enable Rita to correct course as the content is produced,” said entertainment industry child-rearing analyst Cody Angelo, 33. “Not being a seasoned producer of human content, Rita will want to see what elements of the content can benefit from being emphasized or de-emphasized, and that’s going to pay off when it’s time to return to the 'writer’s room’ to generate more content."
According to Ted Fuller, Rita’s husband and the father of the content, the content is geared to baby girls, but the couple was never concerned with what demo the content was for as long as it has all four quadrants.
"We specifically asked the doctors not to tell us at any of the upfront appointments, preferring to find out the demo of our content for ourselves on release,” said Mr. Fuller. “Besides, demo reveal parties are super tacky. Anyway, whether this content was for boys or girls, we knew we were going to call it Alex.”
The couple added that while their initial order for the content was for 18 seasons, they will not hesitate to leave it on the doorstep of a church after just one if the numbers are not there out of the gate.
